This is a post on something rather private. But as I realise that there a lot out there who might now be in the little dark hole I was sometime ago, I get a strong compulsion to share this.
After Baby was born, I was diagnosed with post partum depression. I was weepy, crying at the drop of a hat, constantly worried about the baby, getting angry for no apparent reason, again bawling my lungs out for no reason and having strange, terrible thoughts. Worst still, feeling guilty about those terrible thoughts.
Initially, I considered them to be normal baby blues. But as time passed it only got worse and I had to seek medical help.
The first doctor went to gasped as I described my thoughts to her, which I thought was rather unprofessional as she was a psychiatrist specialising in such things. I did not go to her again.
Later an aunt of mine who had also suffered from post partum depression directed me to another doctor who was kind enough to assure me that what I was going through was normal and that many new mothers go through the same. What was important was that I sought help.
What I wanted to share was not only the above. What I wanted to tell you was, don't give up. Don't give in. Be defiant.
Whether it is post partum or depression of another kind, you can get through this. People will say all sorts of stuff. Let me list some out for you.
1. What do you have to be depressed about?
2. You were brought up so pampered that you can't deal witjlh it when you hit a rough patch.
3. You are loved by everyone so much, how can you be depressed?
4. If only you were a little more religious!.
5. I think voodoo would help.
6. I know this person who was depressed and electric shock thrapy was the only thing that helped. Maybe you should try it.
7. Are you sure you need medication? Can't you handle this on your own?
Here's the deal. They mean well. It is just that they have probably never been where we have been and hence have no idea what we are talking about. They are also worried that we might be mental and are secretly terrified.
Nope. Just because someone is depressed it doesn't mean that the last cookoo is about to leave the nest. It doesn't mean that we will become axe murderers. Or the seven psychopaths. (on a side note, how cool is that movie?)
So what I'm trying to say is this. Let the people talk. Let them offer their unsolicited opinions. Don't let it bother you.
Count your blessings. Trust me, it helps. Write your thoughts down. Build stuff. Cook. Sew. Crochet. Knit. Paint. Draw. Write. Doodle. Sing. Dance. Exercise. Go for a walk. Take pictures. Whatever that takes you to your happy (or less depressed) place.
But most, most importantly DECIDE TO BE HAPPY. Happiness does not come easy. You have to DECIDE to be happy.
Stop obessessing that you're depressed. The more you worry about it, the more you get depressed. The more depressed, the more you worry. It's a viscious cycle. You have to break it somewhere.
Start right now. DECIDE TO STOP BEING DEPRESSED. DECIDE TO BE HAPPY.
Also, seek medical help. It can do wonders. Trust me. I know.
This is not a medical blog or a medical article. I'm neither qualified nor experienced to offer medical advice. This is just to tell you what worked for me.