Elevator talk

So I got into a lift from the third floor of my dad's office today. Here's how the conversation went.

Professional Sounding Lady Voice (PSLV) : " Going down"

Me : mhhh....

A few seconds pass in utter silence.

PSLV : "Ground floor"

I said "Thank you" and got out rather hurriedly.



On a side note, if you've read Douglas Adams's Hitchhiker's Guide to Galaxy, remember the neurotic elevators, doors with pleasing personalities and morose robots? Personally, I don't think we are far behind.

Tides of change

It has been forever hasn't it? I meant to write. But couldn't bring myself around to it.

The past few months have been crazy. My whole life has been upturned, turned inside out. It's still shaky. It's not all bad actually, but even good things in a momentous scale can be a little hard to digest.

I will write all about it. In just a few weeks. Maybe.

Till then, take care of yourselves. See you on the other side. :)

To give away..

I was thinking up on my bucket list when I remembered my organ/blood donor dream.

One I was reading the paper when a particular request among its pages caught my eye. A fifty five year old mother of five was requesting for a kidney from a benefactor. The reason why this caught my attention was because she had asked for a kidney of the same blood type as mine. I immediately went into the "I think I should give my kidney" mode. Called Darling on the spot and told him of what I intended to do. Here's how the conversation went.

Me:    Darling, there was an ad in the paper asking for a kidney, shall I donate? It's the same blood type as mine.
Darling: kidney? You want to give one of your kidneys? Won't there be any side effects?
Me: No I don't think so. I have two kidneys and this woman has none so I don't see why I shouldn't give, don't you think?
Darling: mmmmmm... yeaaahhh... I guess sooo.. If you really want to...

End of conversation. Happy that Darling was on my side I texted my Doctor Cousin. It was a simple text. There was nothing to get worked up about. It simply said that I was think of donating one of kidneys and asked what she thought of it, you know from a purely medical point of view.

The next moment, I get a hurried call.

"AKKKKKAAA!!! Are you nuts! You can't give away one of your kidneys. You haven't even had a child yet. wait till after you do, if you really want to. And do you really really want to live on medicine forever?, It could lead to complications".

I said "OK, point taken. Won't donate a kidney just yet.".

Maybe I gave up too easy. I don't know.

It's just that I've always wanted to donate blood, but have never been able due to constant presence of asthma medicine in my bloodstream. I once almost lied to the blood bank that I was not under any medication so that I could give blood, but at the last moment the mortification of having to lie hit me and I told the good doctor who was there "I'm on an inhaler". That was the end of that dream.

Bucket list

OK so this is a topic covered by everyone yeah? While this is obviously not a comprehensive, below are a few things I want to do before I die. I agree, some of them are so very cliche. But then, most good things are. aren't they? I will add more, as time goes on.

01. See aurora borealis
      My brother said that one night he was rudely woken up by his roommate and dragged up a hill just to see them. I know that they are basically solar wind. But really, they seem magical. And yes, I call them Aurora borealis. You can call them Northern lights if you want. :) When I first heard "aurora borealis" something magical happened in my head. So now I'm doomed until I see them.

02. Visit Prague.
      Why Prague? Have you read the Bartimaeus Trilogy by Johnathan Stroud? In the Golem's eye, which is the second book, they travel to Prague. Which according to the story is mysterious and beautiful.

03. Visit Prince Edward Islands, Nova Scotia.
      Why? Anne Shirley of course.

04. Learn woodwork, i.e carpentry
     Why? Don't know. Just an itch I have. Attempting any other craft doesn't seem to satisfactorily scratch that itch.

05. Visit Morocco
     Colours. Isn't Morocco full of colours?

06. Bungy jump
     When we visited Thailand, darling very happily jumped. I stayed down with my feet firmly secured on the ground. This is Darling jumping. Next time, I'm jumping.

07. Finish reading Ulysses by James Joyce and the Lord of the rings trilogy. I'm stuck.

08. Learn to swim.
      I'm so embarrassed to admit that I can't swim. When I'm in water I get this irrational fear that almost paralises me. I need to learn. It is after all, a life skill.

09. After learning to swim comes, learning to dive. Darling is a qualified advanced open water diver. It will    be so much fun if I can share it.

10. Write a book.

So far these are the ones that come to my mind. What's on your bucket list?

Ramayana: A little bit of epic romance

When I read the Valmiki Ramayana, out of all the pages in the book, one of the scenes that stayed in my mind was what happens when Rama and Sita see each other for the first time. I know that there are many renditions of the Ramayana. Even the love story of Rama and Sita has been told in countless ways. But this particular version is not one that a person forgets easily.

Sita, the adopted daughter of king Janak, is in her balcony that overlooks that street. Rama along with his brother Lakshman and the sage Vishvamitra has just entered Mithila, which is the capitol of Kosala which king Janak rules. Rama passes below Sita and sensing her, looks up locking their eyes. The moment passes and Rama carries on.

Sita is instantly ailed with love. It is as if she has taken ill. She can neither sit nor stand. She can neither sleep nor stay awake. She cannot eat. She cannot drink. She cannot stand the glare of the sun. When the sun goes down, she cannot stand the light of the moon, it is too harsh for her. Her maids fearing for her and seeing that she is as pale as the moonlight in which she cannot bear to be , light lamps filled with ghee which gives a soft glow. But nothing comforts her as the only thing she can think of is the man who locked eyes with her. She doesn’t know who he is.

Rama fares no better. He cannot stop thinking of Sita. He doesn’t know who she is. 

Now how about that eh?

Daughters to daughters in law- Part Two

Lately I've been thinking a lot on what it means to be a daughter in-law and a mother in-law. While I will not have children in the foreseeable future, one can always wonder what the future will bring. And I'm more than determined that I will be a cool mother in-law.

I suppose when a new person enters any household, a bit of apprehension from both parties is unavoidable. For the newbie, fear of the unknown plays havoc in her mind. The key is to go with an open mind. But after all, this is much easier said than done. What we all do wrong is expect the worse. At everything we do in life, we worry about the worst. If we have just sat for an exam, we worry that we might have failed. You get the drift. So as practiced through out life, we go into marriage wondering whether we will be accepted, whether we will be loved, whether the in-laws will be good, whether the husband will the same as he was in the relationship stage.

Sri Lankans love to give advice. And many which are given to a prospective bride just before her wedding are not very sunny. I have met many a bride ashen just by hearing the non-welcome and indeed unasked for pre-wedding advice from well meaning aunties. These more often than not run along the lines of " Don't share everything with the husband" " He will change, they all do, you know" "Don't tell your family secrets to him" "Keep your own money" "All mothers in-law are bad, fortunately only I had the chance to get a good one". blah blah blah

Why on earth for a change can they not say " you will have a fabulous wedded life!" " Share all and sundry with him!" " He will change, but only for the better" " you must always share your happiness, sorrows and all your money".

Thus, brides go into the new family dead scared of what is to come. What they should be prepared for is the fact that all families are different from one another. Just as no two individuals are not the same, neither are two families. Families have different quirks. Your mother might cook every meal at home, but his family might eat out every night. Maybe people in your family do their own chores, but his family has three maids. Maybe you are a neat freak. But they are messy. Or vice versa. Maybe you are an only child, but he has four siblings. Thus all families are fundamentally different from one another. This basic fact and the fact that you are very very different from your intended spouse ( after discounting the obvious similarities that drew you together) are what a new bride needs to know. Not what to do with her money. That I'm sure every couple will figure out on their own at some point.

I am by no means a marriage expert. And I have been married only for a very short period of time. But the points which I laid down are ones that I wish I had thought of before I got married. I'm married to a wonderful man, but I must confess that after all the unwelcome advice I entered into marriage a little prejudiced. Only later I realised my prejudices and that the basis for a good marriage is understanding the differences and finding middle ground. This is so for a married couple and between you and your in-laws.

Because, you will expect to get everything you got when you were at home, but this might not happen. You will expect to be loved just the same way that you were before married. People are different. They might not show you their appreciation. But inside they also want to be loved by their new daughter/sister in-law. They also want to be appreciated.

Being a wife and a daughter in-law is a two way street. You have to give to receive. People, in the end are fundamentally good. Try to find that goodness. You are after all, with the man you love who is there because of his parents.

Bubbly tea

Who doesn't like tea right? For us Sri Lankans, tea is the ultimate beverage. Rain or shine, when someone visits us we give them a cup of tea. To show that we are not at all stingy and very very hospitable, the tea given to guests is always over sugared. And the guests, to show that they are courteous to the hosts, always leave about one quarter of the cup undrunk.

Until a few years ago, for Sri Lankans tea only came in one kind. Black crushed leaves. There were brands of course, but tea could be also be bought loose from the grocer. Now there are many brands and many varieties. Some absolutely fantastic!

I'm used to be a huge teaaficionado. About two years ago, if you opened my middle desk drawer at work, you would have found, about ten varieties of tea. Black tea, green tea, matcha, raspberry flavoured, lemon flavoured, jasmine flavoured, moroccan mint so on and so forth.

But these days, I hardly drink tea. In the mornings Darling and I opt for freshly squeezed fruit juice. But sometimes, when the mood hits, a tea becomes indispensable. Today was one such day. As I was making tea I remembered our childhood (when we were about six or seven), when nangi and I used to sit on the bed after getting a wash and wait for amma to come dress us. She would always give us our tea (milk tea of course) first. Our tea HAD to have a lot of bubbles and froth. Otherwise we would scream "ammmaaaa!!!! pena oney!!!" (mom! we want bubbles!!)

Froth is created when the tea is aerated. This is done by pouring tea from one cup to another and back and forth repeatedly  for a few minutes. Not only does this cool the tea, but it also gives it a lovely taste. If you visit one of those fancy tea bars in Colombo, you can get a cup of aerated tea. But a long time ago, any cup of milk tea offered at one of those roadside kades in a village, was aerated. It was called, "yaara daanawa" meaning that the tea would be poured back and forth between two cups a yard apart.

So today, we had yaara damapu te.